Hirer: Good morning.
AC: Good morning!
Hirer: So, you are an agile coach, is it?
AC: Yes, I am CSM, ICAC, SA, PTT, ABC, XYZ, …….
Hirer: Wow! That’s an impressive list. Do you think you can transform our organization to be more agile?
AC: Well, I have all the experience. I’ll make your organization SAD (Scaled Agile Delivery).
Hirer: No…No… wait! We don’t need SAD here…our need is more agility.
AC: Precisely. As part of SAD implementation, you’ll get Teams who CCC (Colocate, Collaborate and Coordinate) to deliver software every 2 mins. We have AAA (Automated Build, Automated Test and Automated Delivery) tools to help you do that. And we’ll give you zZz (peaceful sleep) for free!
Hirer: I understand you have great processes and tools to transform an organization…but that’s not really our need. And without budget for AAA & CCC- free zZz is not possible, I guess.
AC: In that case, I can offer you only CCC- it will be cheaper and will help you kick start SAD.
Hirer: Okay…but don’t you want to know our challenges before recommending CCC?
AC: CCC works everywhere…trust me.
Hirer: And…why should I trust you? …Okay, can you give me a detailed proposal in a week’s time?
AC: But I already have it! As I told you- it works everywhere and with amazing results!
Hirer: That’s nice! Can you talk about the results?
AC: Yes, on an average SAD has given 50% reduction in costs and 500% reduction in CT.
Hirer: Are you sure…sounds impossible! You have data?
AC: Yes! We conducted a survey on Donkey Survey… 50 real SAD users participated.
Hirer: No, no…real data…
AC: Sorry, I have NDA signed with all my customers. Can’t share that. But I have personally verified it on our tool- iSADit. Trust me!!
Hirer: Sorry but I can’t. (And we are HAPPY not to hire you!)